"Are You Going to Love it or List it"

Working in my capacity as a professional counselor and therapist, I have the opportunity each day to witness the toll dysfunctional thinking takes on the human psyche. Many individuals feel trapped by their circumstances, they may be completely lost in their dysfunctional thoughts; or, they have become victims of their false beliefs and narratives. The most rewarding part of my job is helping individuals to see that they themselves have all the tools necessary to change destructive thought patterns and to choose alternative behaviors. When this concept takes hold, a paradigm shift begins to take shape. For me it is like watching my favorite home makeover show, “Love It or List it”.

The premise of the show “Love It, or List It” is that homeowners have identified reasons that their current living space no longer meets their needs; so, they agree to be part of a competition between the two hosts of the show. One host works on renovating the homeowner's current home to show them how the house can be changed to function in a way that will meet their needs. Meanwhile, the other host tries to find alternative, move-in ready homes to offer as alternatives to staying in the existing home. At the end of the show, the homeowners have to decide if they are going to “Love” their current home; or, “List It.”’

Just like the home owners on “Love It or List It,” some individuals that I work with have a very hard time seeing their potential. Their thoughts are very unhappy in the place they call home. These”homeowners” usually have a long list of reason that they do not like their home; but, they have been living there so long, they cannot imagine a different reality .

For some “homeowners,” when I ask them to describe their new and improved home, the idea of complete demolition is just about as much creativity as they are able to muster. That is actually a perfectly OK starting place. Some homes need more renovation than others; but, every home is unique and special. The important part is that the home owner has a desire to renovate and is open to suggestions.

Sometimes it just takes an outside eye to help redirect focus to see what is and to see what can be. Some "homeowners;" however, have become so attached to what is wrong with their home that they just are not willing to consider the possibility that changing the inside will make them happy. They are not willing to open their eyes to the existing potential; so, they will choose to look elsewhere to find alternative solutions.

For those who decide they are committed to the "home" renovation, together we walk about their house, take a look at what is working, take inventory of the solid structures and supports that are in place and begin to brainstorm ideas for changes to be made. During this phase, the "homeowner" begins to consider his likes, dislikes, needs and desires. He begins to awaken to the potential within his house that he never noticed before. Becoming aware and visualizing how targeted changes can completely revamp the living space can be energizing and empowering. It is fun to watch as the "homeowner" allows his creativity to emerge.

While deciding which rooms are going to get a makeover, the "homeowner" begins to look beyond the room, that is the current reality,to see what walls need to come down to create a new reality. He starts to look at things from a different perspective, a different lens. He develops a completely new eye for identifying what is and what can be. One, by one, targeted walls of resistance, denial, and distrust are knocked down making room for a new, open, design concept that is full of light, promise, energy and vitality.

At the end of the each episode of “Love it, Or List it” there is the great unveiling—that “WOW” moment when the viewer and homeowners alike see the new living space for the first time. The space is always open, beautiful and functional. It is hard to believe it is the same house. I particularly love to pay attention to the details that are a reflection of the home owner’s desired changes. The color choices, the textures and all the accessories are perfectly coordinated to add dimension, continuity, energy and life to the space. The result is always so much more than the homeowner; or, the viewing audience could have imagined. It is awe inspiring.

So it is for our “homeowners,” for their new and improved space-the home for their thoughts. Where once they felt closed off, unhappy and plagued by the four “Ds"- despair, dysfunction, distrust and denial--now they feel an overwhelming sense of peace and love. Targeted walls and dysfunctional clutter have been removed and replaced with an open, inviting, relaxing, functional environment.

This is a place where anything is possible. This is a place where creativity can be unleashed, dreams can be pursued and potential can be recognized. This is a beautifully renovated home, from the inside out, with attention to details and accessories that have been chosen with love and to serve purpose—to add dimension, to add color; and, to maintain the continuity, balance, and life of the home.

Anything is possible when you begin to work on your home from the inside out. Whether you need a little renovation; or, a lot, change starts when you are willing to do an honest walkthrough, take inventory of what is working and what is not; and, are willing to get to work. Perhaps you will find that you have some walls that need to come down; or, maybe you just need to add a few accessories and some touch ups. A little textural courage, some compassionate colors and a bouquet of gratitude will make every home more beautiful from the inside out.

Brotations welcomes you to our home. We hope you will visit often and leave feeling better than when you arrived.